Dear Brothers and Sisters,

One of the deep sadnesses that any parent experiences occurs when your children leave the faith. We have shared that the number of those interested in the Order of Christian Initiation (OCIA) has skyrocketed. Last year, 21 people were baptized at our Easter Vigil! This year, even more people are interested in becoming Catholic or completing their sacraments.

But there is another side of the story. Around half of young Americans raised Catholic no longer identify with the faith as adults, with about 79% of those who leave doing so before age 23. This is a tragedy. I have spoken with so many heartbroken parents who do not understand why their son or daughter is making questionable moral choices and has little interest in a relationship with God. When so many of us see the faith as our lifeline and connection to God, it is painful and confounding to experience someone disconnected from God. For many, it is seen as a sign of parental failure.

Such a self-indictment falls short of the cultural realities that young people are living in. Deeply rooted scriptural and ecclesial beliefs have become increasingly countercultural on the internet, on cable news stations, and even in many public schools where commonly accepted and time-honored truths about God are rejected or at least called into question. Objective truth is not seen as a good but rather as oppressive. These young people then are often untethered—lost and being washed downstream.

Put simply, worldly and evil forces are very effective at attacking our young people and luring them away from Christ and His Church. Gone are the days when parents could simply send their children to Catholic schools in deeply Catholic neighborhoods and safely assume that their children would follow their religious example.

Young people are increasingly isolated from meaningful relationships. More and more people are working from home, which has resulted in very limited encounters with other human beings outside of family and friends. Combined with this isolation, young people face the challenges of social media, pornography, and 24-hour internet access, which has increased anxiety and depression. September is suicide prevention month; 3 in 10 Americans suffer from a diagnosed anxiety disorder, leading to alarming suicide rates in our country. Suicide rates in the United States have reached a historic peak—with over 49,000 deaths recorded annually! There are increasing numbers of youth and young adults who despair and live lives of quiet desperation.

In addition, we have sometimes been our worst enemies. It is no secret that clergy abuse has caused trust issues. The good news is the number of new cases has plummeted, but damage was done. In addition, high divorce rates and the temptation toward a cultural Catholicism that is not grounded in the Gospel have not helped. We should pray hard for worthy vocations to the priesthood, religious life, and married life! And we should also pray that the laity will continue to take their rightful place as co-workers in the vineyard of the Lord!

Obviously, we have hope to share the good news of Christ with young people! The Gospel is the way to authentic happiness. What can we do specifically?

Firstly, pray, fast, and sacrifice for your children daily! Before you talk to your children about God, talk to God about your children. Recently we celebrated the Feast of St. Monica, who is our role model. St. Monica, whose son, St. Augustine, made immoral choices, prayed and sacrificed for her son’s conversion, and it eventually happened! On occasion, send them a text, email, or phone message that they came up in prayer and remind them that you are their prayer support.

Secondly, look for opportunities to dialogue with young people, but don’t nag or preach! Invite them to pray. Simple conversations with young people about the pain and complexity of modern life reveal confusion, pain, and hardness of heart in some. But I have also experienced a particular openness to faith and to prayer when we take the time to patiently and lovingly listen.

Thirdly, be a virtuous example. You can teach your kids about the faith, especially in the areas of marital sexuality, but if you are not living that faith, these truths will be lost or ignored. Speak to them about the joy of serving the poor or other experiences born from your faith. Speak to them about overcoming moral failures of your own.

Fourthly, give reasons for your hope and why practicing the faith is important to you. I find when people leave the faith, it is often because they don’t see it making a difference in people’s lives. People who don’t practice the faith often don’t see how faith makes a difference. Plant the seeds of faith, hope, and love by your example of practicing your faith. God makes the seeds grow.

And finally, be hopeful. Mother Teresa often said, “Never let anything distress you so that you forget the joy of the resurrection.” Reversion to faith is most often not a Hail Mary pass! Be steadfast and be ready to share the reason for our hope as St. Peter tells us. God is bigger than all of this craziness!

Parent’s Prayer to St. Joseph

O glorious St. Joseph, to you God committed the care of His only begotten Son amid the many dangers of this world. We come to you and ask you to take under your special protection the children God has given us. Through holy baptism they became children of God and members of His holy Church. We consecrate them to you today, that through this consecration they may become your foster children. Guard them, guide their steps in life, form their hearts after the hearts of Jesus and Mary. St. Joseph, who felt the tribulation and worry of a parent when the child Jesus was lost, protect our dear children for time and eternity. May you be their father and counsellor. Let them, like Jesus, grow in age as well as in wisdom and grace before God and men. Preserve them from the corruption of this world, and give us the grace one day to be united with them in Heaven forever. Amen.

BACK TO LIST